Legacy Thinkblog


21st January 2127

New Release

With bonus disc containing additional never seen before scenes:

 - James Bond submits overdue expenses claim 

  - The latest bond girl visits her mother in Serene Seaview residential care home

 - Bond WFH where possible (73 scenes)  

 - Q outed in Paddington Bear cohabitation scandal

 - Plot grinds to a halt due to no seats at the bar 

 - 007 meets with the Pension Advisor

 - Villain forgets to feed cat and is reported to RSPCA

 - James attends compulsory on-line Gender Equality Training whilst in transit between secret sexy locations  

 - M implicated in GDPR breach 

 - Bond car insurance declined after yet another multi-car pile up

  - Shoot out in bar cancelled due to lack of parking spaces

 - Redacted 

And unique GIFS

 - Bond gunning down never-ending series of useless anonymous armed extras

 - Bond escapes in never-ending car chase

 - Bond in never-ending kiss with Bond girl

 - Bond escapes in never-ending speedboat chase

 - Bond escapes in never-ending motor bike chase

 - Bond escapes in never-ending tricycle chase

(That's enough never-ending GIFs, Ed.)


16th January 2127

GAT hit help for #8


Enter the code we've sent to the mobile of the gnome using the outside lavatory


9th January 2127



6th January 2127

'Come on, it's your turn, roll the dice. We've only got 3,749 more slides to go.'

'Where have Doom and Earthear got to?'

'They're back at slide 1, they fell asleep.'

'Must . .  . keep . . . .my . .  .  .eyes . . . op .. .en  . zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz'


30th December 2126

 Next Ashes Series will be Subbuteo Cricket

(Since England cannot sink any lower in the real game)


22nd December 2126


'Aaaargh! This is what happens when you mix a 2000 year old religious story with Coca-Cola and 22nd century robotics.'

 'Aye, it's a right meme muddle, except the birth of Christ seems to have got squeezed out completely in the above example.'

'You're right! It's all red Santas and Robots.'


In other news, there was an angry outburst from Bleep who feels neglected as all the focus has been on the COVID 72 Booster rollout. Things got even worse when a search on 'Bleep and Booster Christmas' yielded no meaningful hits. 'It's as if we were an obscure 1960s-1970s phenomena no one can remember!' raged Bleep, leading to a widespread outburst of indiffernce.


 And, finally,

To: All

From: ZAPAdminbot

Would whoever has changed 'Configurator' to 'Confogurator' please change it back immediately.


17th December 2126


The nation can't wake up! Who will watch anyone win Strictly?

In tomorrow's final the three finalists will each give an unqualified opinion, a qualified opinion, an adverse opinion, with a grand finale disclaimer of opinion. The competiton will come to a crescendo with the signing off of their audit reports which no one will read before deciding the overall winner.

Breaking News: one contestent disqualfied after missing a major non-conformance!

The show will go ahead with the remaining contestants who will seek the the total obscurity of a clean audit report.   


14th December 2126


6th December 2126


'Aarrgh! No! Help!'

Having bit of on-line angst?

'I've apparently ordered an adorable cat calendar. Aarrgh! ^@#$%! How do I cancel it?'

'I doubt sending that did any good'

'No, but it made me feel better'


2nd December 2126  0:06am

After a brief investigation of less than 3 minutes it has been established that it was the GAT individual that inadvertently set the configurator default to 'Broccoli picker'. He claims it was supposed to be humorous and 'had forgotten all about it', but it is known that he has suffered bouts of stupidity in the past (see July 13th entry below), and his pathetic attempt at creating 72007200 KIT GRILLED TROUT - see 2nd July, while logged in as somebody else. Unibot 3-60-5 (amazingly not GAT's fault) default has been reset to 'random unoffensive helpful non-entity' and production has been restored.


1st December 2126


GAT surveyed the scene before him. Ten minutes earlier he'd received a frantic telephone call 'THE WHOLE PRODUCTION LINE HAS COLLAPSED!'  Well he couldn't dispute that as moved towards on one of the bots lying moribund flat on its back.

They were Unibot type 3-60-5, so could be destined for any number of tasks. The model had got off to an inauspicious start when there'd been a stand-off on the name - Unibot 360 or Unibot 365? In the end a garbled message reached the frustrated branding department 'The product will be named three sixty five repeat three - sixty, six-oh five.' By the time the cock-up came to light it was all done. But we digress.

'What was the last thing you did to them before they fell over?'

'Linked them to the new configurator.'

'And what was it set to?'

'Dunno, we didn't get that far.'

'Ok' mused GAT 'So I wonder what the default configuration setting is?'

He connected to the configurator on his iPhone 72.

 CO001- - - Broccoli Picker - - -

 What!? Who in their right mind would set the default to a broccoli picker!

The Unibot 3-60-5 Logik Controller would instantly conclude it was doomed to be consigned to corrode in muddy fields competing desperately against the low-cost 99% market-leading Econodroid 'Dimwit' KropChomperTM, a sort of techno-mutant halfway between a slug and something out of Thunderbirds whose sole attribute was the capability to follow a line of broccoli plants across a muddy field 24/7 in all weather conditions.


It was no wonder they'd instantly gone into Auto-Shutdown.


25th November 2126


The screen glow eerily played across GAT's expressionless zombie face.

'Where am I?'

He made the effort to turn towards the window.

'It's dark! .  . . What time is it?'

For that matter 'What day is it?'

 Current Session: 72.513 Hours

'Aaaargh' GAT's eyes refocused on the bank of screens . . . . .


Beep   Beep   Beep   Beep   Beep   Beep . . .

'Where am I?' croaked GAT.

'Oh hello!' chirped a female voice, 'You're back with us.'

GAT's eyes sought a screen to rest on.

'You were lucky someone found you when they did' continued the chirpy voice 'ZAPNOSIS-72 had almost extinguished all neural activity.' 


22nd November 2126


19th November 2126


12th November 2126

Training part 72

'Type ZRT07 into the text box, enter, pick EL0020 from the dropdown list, then click the unlock symbol and type 353P1 in the popup box and enter. Now you need to select 000BNK in the top bar which will take you to the MEIN21 menu for SD-SLS Application Components -  '

The trainees were showing signs of strain and one finally cracked, 'Help! I'm totally lost!'

The trainer meandered over, 'Hit escape.'



'You got a 162987? You'll have to leave this class and book into another one and start again from scratch. Oh, there there, there's no need to cry, you'll get the hang of it after a few years.'


9th November 2126



Globalbot Announces it has Developed a Womble when it Meant to Develop a Clanger
Robo-Reuters: Friday 9th November 2126

Filton, Europa -- (BUSINESS WIRE) -- Golbalot.Corp. (LASHDAQ-100), a supplier of advanced robotic equipment and related automated technologies for the global robotics industry, today announced it has developed a Clanger when it meant to develop a Womble. Graham Cracker, Globalbot CEO commented, 'Well, this is what happens when the Product Requirement Specification (PRS) Marketing sent to Engineering was, shall we say, a tad ambiguous. Engineering should have checked but just ploughed on regardless, and here we are.' Industry analysts were not surprised, 'It was an accident waiting to happen' commented one, 'It sits alongside the wingless aeroplane and the skirting ladder in the annals of product development mishaps.'

Safe Harbor Statement: If you were not a child of the 1970s in the United Kingdom then just move on, nothing happened here.


29th October 2126

'The good news is that we know where the critical Q4 parts are.'

The Materials Team held their collective breath . .  .

'The bad news is that we know where the critical Q4 parts are, and . . .'

Could it get any worse?

' . . . the only way we can get them in Q4 is to cancel Christmas.'


26th October 2126

Those icons explained!


The MRP algorithm visualized!


20th October 2126

From: Adminbot

To: Current, Aspiring and Expired Project Managers

Subject: New Project Type Classification


Please see new project scale categories to be used with immediate effect.

This should all be self-evident.

If not, or you have any questions, please do hesitate to ask.



'I've got a question' said GAT 'Who financed the current universe?'

'Don't bother me right now' Thinkbot replied 'I'm up to my ears in the Ferrule Crimper project, I'm 13 cents over-budget and I've only got 7 minutes left.'


17th October 2126


From: Greenbot

To: Everybody

Subject: Green Q&A


Q1: If only 6% of world energy comes from renewables how can 100% of companies claim they use 100% renewable energy?

A1: Once it's mixed up in the wires you can't tell which bits are renewable


Q2: Does Globalbot claim to use 100% renewables?

A2: Yes


Q3: Can the answers to Q1 and Q2 be reconciled?

A3: Yes! 100% of Globalbot's energy usage has renewables in it.


Q4: Are all Globalbot products manufactured using renewables?

A4: The 6% of Globalbot that use renewables are 100% compliant


Q5: But if it's all 'mixed up in the wires' how do you know?

A5: Precisely! You've got it!


11th October 2126

From: Adminbot

To: Everybody

Subject: New Zoom Backgrounds



7th October 2126



5th October 2126



There was an edge of panic in the Salesman's voice.

'Ha! It down to 3 vendors. Gloabalbot DanceOmatic, EconoDroid Jigathon and the SincroStep from Chinabot. The SincroStep is half the price!'

GAT eye-balled the images of the SincroStep 'But they're not synchronized.'

'Customer say Chinabot promise to synchronize after PO placed.'

GAT let his forehead sink onto the desk.

'SincroStep is copy exact of DanceOmatic!!!'


1st October 2126


'What's top of the shortage list?'

'The shortage list.'

'Er, what's in it?'

'The shortage list.'

'What's in that?'

'The shortage list.'

'And in that?'

'The shortage list.'

'And then?'

'It's shortage lists all the way down.'

'Makes a change from turtles.'

'Turtles are a shortage all the way down.'

'Can we use groundhogs to plug the gap until the turtles arrive?'

'You asked that yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that, and the day . . '

[Continued forever]


21st September 2126



'Welcome to Scotland's great coastal walks number 72, Cullen to Portknockie round trip including great views of Bow Fiddle rock', announced the robot guide cheerfully, 'The walk today is easy walking over moderate terrain, but before we start I need to give you a brief safety message:'

The little robot suddenly seemed possessed.

'Warning! Coastal paths are DANGEROUS with lethal hazards including jagged rocks, vertical cliffs, deep water, waves and in the event of the slightest lapse in concentration it is highly likely you will not survive this walk!'

'Right, all set? Happy? Let's go.'


14th September 2126


REMI R2 Training

 ' . . .  any of the robots in the interlock chain could be a single point of failure, a Houdinibot about to escape its shackles against all the odds at any moment, it's NON-COMPLIANT, you don't know what's going on in its control circuits, it's a black box . . .'  [Cont. 72 hours]


10th September 2126



Scene:  The bridge of the space station Deep Sleep 72


Lieutenant Dax (waking up with a start):  Argh! What? Where am I?  SIR! SIR!

Captain Sisko (sitting in captain's chair in his dressing gown drinking hot chocolate):  What is it Lieutenant?

Lieutenant Dax: Long range sensors have detected an unknown disturbance in subspace.

Captain Sisko: On screen!

Lieutenant Dax: It's  . .  . it's . .  .IT'S .  . . . .

Captain Sisko: Easy lieutenant. Deep breaths, that's good, now relax.

Lieutenant Dax: It's a random data cloud and it's migrating straight towards us.

Captain Sisko:  Shields up, red alert!

Major Nerys:  Analysis indicates it'll incorrectly migrate our data to an alien database

Chief O'Brien:  Will it affect payroll?

Major Nerys:  Payroll, expenses, transactions, cost roll ups, end-to-end procurement, overdue invoices, outstanding purchase orders, they'll all be merged into numerical putty!

Captain Sisko: Will anyone notice?

Major Nerys:  We're being hailed! It's the USS Audit bidding us farewell!

[Crewe panic and don tinfoil hats]


8th September 2126

From: PLM Adminbot

To: ECO Team

Subject: ECO Process Clarification


So far the success rate of completed ECOs in Ensomnia is 0% (Zero % (aka as 'none'))

The diagram below is a pictorial summary of the work flow



Hopefully this is all now clear


PLM Adminbot


2nd September 2126


'What? There was no baffle fitted? Isn't that needed to control the air flow?'

'It was drawn 6 months ago but no supplier will make it.'

'So we ran the temperature checks without it? Really?'


'What happened?'

'It melted.'

'Right, so we definitely need the baffle.'

'It was drawn 6 months ago but no supplier will make it.'

'It's only a bit of bent polycarbonate, how difficult can it be?'

[Cont. forever]


2nd September 2126


The meeting hit a lull, and into the vacuous emptiness an exquisitely distressed lone voice exclaimed . . .

'Oh for f%&k's sake!'

'Er, someone needs to go onto mute.'


25th August 2126

From: Admin

To: Every

Subje: Email Word Trunc


Dear Ones,

This is to infor you that any words longe than five (5) lette will be trunc going forwa.

This initi is to reduc Globa carbo footp by consu less energ in elect devic.

Also simpl dicti

Polic effec immed




'You never know' mused GAT 'it might impro commu.'

'I beg your Pardo? Surel you canno be serio!''


18th August 2126

Having coughed up 10 Globos for his on-line streaming match pass, and succeeded in brokering an aspect ratio peace deal between his Crapple App and the TV, GAT settled back to enjoy the game on City TV, an operation of such quality that one of his fellow sufferers had dubbed it 'Poundland TV' and the name stuck.

'And here we are - '

GAT dived for the remote to turn down the volume, but he needn't have bothered as the picture froze before he got there.

Then a blank silent TV accompanied by an important message from the CrappleNet:

10 minutes later after much cursing and thumping of touchscreens.

' . . a poor game between two mediocre sides so far . . '

Aargh! Volume down.

'We hope you are enjoying this wherever you are watching.'

Then .  . .

'What the . .  . '

10 minutes fumbling with TV remote and the aspect ratio menu yielded:

GAT decided this was probably going to be as good as he was going to get, so lay on his side on the sofa.

'City are 2-0 down with 10 minutes to play, if only they could get one they might get two.'

'Well duh!'


GAT feverishly re-entered his credentials.

GAT stared in incredulity.

Did the biscuit count as a penguin?

Likewise Pingu?

And were those penguin feet centre top?

And could that be a penguin egg?

And was that a penguin beak poking into the edge bottom left.

Meanwhile GAT's phone was bleeping hysterically.

He made a few stabs at spotting the penguins but:

He looked at his phone.

  Incredible last few minutes, 2-2, I didn't see that coming!


14th August 2126



11th August 2126

The to transition in simple terms:


1. Write anything really important on post-it notes and stick to the edge of your screen

2. Freeze (20 tonnes liquid nitrogen on standby)

3. Extract data (dental skills required)

4. Try to inject data into (medical skills required)

5. Observe 10 days of mediation in absolute silence (ignoring anyone who pleads for a transaction)

6. If you can find it then validate data (search and rescue skills preferable)

7. go live (crash team on hand)

8. Start screaming



9th August 2126

Idiotic Algorithms # 72

'Looks like we'll be going by car then . . . '

'How does it get away with calling itself a Lynx? It's scandalous!'

'It's a South Gloucestershire Lynx.'

'And the other bus is an X-bus, that means Express . .  .'

'I think we can allow ourselves a good night's sleep and still get there first by car.'

'Yep, I'll get the ovaltine on.'



4th August 2126



'And now, let's get right over to the Equestripooladrome where the 1500m springboard team pursuit show jumping is about to get underway!'


24th July 2126

Dungeons and Dragons

ERP Special Edition

'Damn & blast! I've just been on that screen!'

'Have you found the magical transaction yet?'

'No, but I've got a key that'll get me into stores.'

'That's no use until you defeat Bin Data.'

'$^&*! I'm back on that same screen again!'

'Oh no, I've been trapped by a shortage devil!'

'Ha! I've captured the Freight Forwarder, that'll be useful I ever get any parts issued.'

'Some of the dungeons are empty, strange, it's like there's some data missing.'


24th July 2126


Bingeflix's latest space opera offering features yet another collection of hapless actors and models pretending to be astronauts who deliver a deadly mix of near death adventures with eye-watering CGI and a script riddled with all the usual clichés.



'Why are we watching this?' asked Helen in a brief moment of wakefulness.

'Dunno, it auto-suggested itself.'


13th July 2126



2nd July 2126


New PLM system training!

'Now, try creating a kit from the parts you entered earlier.'

GAT fingers swept across the keyboard:

GAT's stomach rumbled, 'Pardon me!'

He raised his hand, 'Just checking, all our data will be wiped tonight right?'

The instructor's face took on a troubled frown. 'Well, it should, but yesterday's data is still there due to the 'WON'T WIPE DEFECT', it's not fixed yet as far as I know.'

'Ah . . . ., just as well I logged in as PaulD then.'


26th June 2126

                               Obscure Fine Art Auctions Ltd

                                          You won't believe your own eyes!



                             Lot #83   'Battle Scene from the Ancient ERP Wars'

                                                    Reserve Price:  8 trillion Globo


18th June 2126

Is Your ERP System Incomprehensible, Inflexible & Intransigent?

Yes? Then you need our suite of ERP add-ons:

This add-on simplifies system flow charts, often to a single box with 'ERP' written in it.

No one understands the original diagram anyway, and this add-on has saved up to 100% of time spent staring at it.

This add-on takes your sales forecast and randomly shuffles it.

Extensive trials have shown this method to be more accurate than thinking rationally about forecasting.

This add-on does not actually do anything, but deploying it when it all goes wrong has conclusively been shown to raise staff morale.


8th June 2126

TNET 72727272

Customer:  Acksident P.R.O.N.E.

Globalbot Product:  Gargull AquaBot

Serial:  H20-5OAK-CERT1N

Problem:  Water leak in 4th dimension flooded the 3 dimensional factory.

Customer ask for MSDS and CHIP certification for 4 dimensional water.

Urgently need Globalbot to supply and fit additional multi-dimensional valve with temporally backwards option to prevent leak of future water in the present.

Status:  Sodden ESCALATION

Update:  Acksident P.R.O.N.E demand urgent recovery plan to secure their schedule for implementation of 5 dimensions.


'Hmm, so are they saying the 4-dimensional water is leaking in from the future or the past?'

'No idea, but I've deployed our Beta MopBot in the future.'

'What MopBot?'

'Dunno, it's in the future.'


6th June 2126

GAT breathed deep calming breaths to try and suppress the waves of blind panic threatening to engulf him.

In, out, in, out, in, out, in, out, in, out, in, out, in, out, in, out, feeling rather dizzy.

He refocused on the screen.

The stark truth was before his eyes, he was on three incompatible Org Charts!

This not only meant others in the organization could figure out what he was supposed to be doing, they had three contradictory options to choose from.

The words of Holy Scriptures (Corporate Version) rang around his head 'A [man/ woman/ robot/ AI] cannot serve on >1 Org Chart[s] lest he hate the one and becometh utterly confused by the others; one org chart shalt thou be on, no more, preferably less. Blessed is he who appeareth on no Org Chart, for he can do whatsoever appealeth unto him and manifest oneself unexpectedly at random meetings and cause fellow employees eyes to water.'


27th May 2126








98541 Bot-Fix London White Shelf Bracket 150 x 125mm






'Hmm,' muttered Thinkbot, 'Is the goal here to make language a complete barrier to communication?'


20th May 2126



Scene:  The bridge of the space station Deep Sleep 72


Lieutenant Dax (waking up with a start):  Argh! What? Where am I?  SIR! SIR!

Captain Sisko (sitting in captain's chair in his pajamas drinking ovaltine):  What is it Lieutenant?

Lieutenant Dax: Long range sensors have detected an unknown disturbance.

Captain Sisko: (muttering At last!) On screen!

Lieutenant Dax: It's  . .  . it's

 Captain Sisko: Deep breath and articulate Lieutenant!

Lieutenant Dax: It's pure chaos, and it's expanding exponentially! We'll be engulfed in 3 mintues!

Major Nerys:  Analysis indicates it's the remnants of an ERP supernova 

Captain Sisko:  Shields up, red alert!

Major Nerys:  Captain, if it hits us then all the part numbers on our ship's BOM will be reformatted as random numbers!

Captain Sisko:  So what? I thought all our part numbers are random already.

Chief O'Brien: 'Where Used' and 'Stock Enquiry' will stop working, we'll never be able to find anything, and if we do we won't know where to fit it!

Captain Sisko: On the other hand we'll be spared the endless list of shortages. Shields down, cancel red alert.

[Crewe panic and don tinfoil hats]


15th May 2126


From: Development Adminbot

To: Project Timescales

Subject: New Project Gantt Template


Dear All,

In an effort to improve on the apparent time it takes us to get anything done around here, the Gantt template below should be adopted for all development projects with immediate effect.



The new corporate strapline is 'It's taken us 13.77 billion years to get this far so we're not going to cock it up now!'


11th May 2126

Tinbot        Advanced Tinbot XZL

Globalbot Launches Existing Product Under a New Name
Robo-Reuters: Friday 10th May 2126

Filton, Europa -- (BUSINESS WIRE) -- Golbalot.Corp. (LASHDAQ-100), a supplier of advanced robotic equipment and related automated technologies for the global robotics industry, today announced it has used its SMARTTM Redesign methodology to release an existing product with a disruptive new name. 'We are thrilled to be offering the Advanced Tinbot XZL to the same marketplace that previously and eventually accepted the Tinbot through gritted teeth' said Mark Etyng, VP of Global Marketing. Meanwhile the press had unraveled the true meaning of SMART - 'Smoke, Mirrors And Regurgitated Technology', and all for a +50% hike in list price, which ended up causing a drunken melee in the bar, no sorry, the Advanced Bar XZL.

Safe Harbor Statement: This announcement contains backward-looking forward statements that claim to foresee the future based on a suspect grasp of the past and little awareness of the present.


20th April 2126



'It looks like we're doomed' muttered Thinkbot 'What do you think?'

'I don't know' replied GAT cheerily 'I've got my eyes shut.'


20th April 2126



15th April 2126


Zoom call #72 of the week.

GAT marveled once again that he got paid for doing this!

The problem with this particular call was participant Droneonandonandon*.

Indeed Droneonandonandon was just embarking on another monologue:



He's on mute!

Please everyone, hold your nerve, whatever you do, don't wave your hands and shout 'YOU'RE ON MUTE!'

* Not real name




From: Thinkbot

 A R Spane's on mute!!!!!!  You've got an hour of your life back - Don't waste it!!!


9th April 2126

Aaaaaaargh!  No!


3 hours later


Next morning

Who are 'we' GAT wondered




1st April 2126


Opah Rashunz, VP of DIRT* Manufacturing, looked out at the 200 or so expectant faces of her Manuf Ops Team, took a deep breath.

'The good news is that Globalbot DIRT Division have record backlogs of orders for robots deliverable in Q2 and Q3.'

A babble of excited chit chat belched forth from the assembled masses but quickly died away as the realization dawned on them - good news means bad news . . . a deathly hush descended. 

'The bad news is that we'll be switching to a new ERP system mid-Q2 which does not support our existing TLA set.'

Pandemonium ensued. A wave of offensive, soon to be obsolete, TLAs erupted filled the air.

Learn a new TLA for every step in the supply chain and build procedure? By mid Q2? NEVER!

But Rashunz wasn't finished.




* DIRT = Domestic and Industrial Robot Technology


28th March 2126


19th March 2126



GAT and Thinkbot are attending the 35th Future of Automation and Droids Symposium (FADS-35).

'I've got a headache' moaned GAT after sitting through 25 presentations on 'The Future of Robot Control Systems' session, which had overrun by an hour and descended into chaotic and obscure arguments between rival supporters of EtherHippo and Double-Decker Fieldbus.


'Follow me' said Thinkbot and lead GAT to the Executives Forum session.

'What? Are you kidding?'

'Trust me.'


As they entered the auditorium they were immersed in gentle piano music mixed with waterfalls and dripping noises.

The CPO* of EconoDroid was presenting.



'This is self-evident'



'As is this'

'And of course we are all . . . '



'While coming to grips with . . .'



The room filled with deep murmurings of appreciation from the audience.


GAT was relaxed to the point of limpness and in danger of falling off his chair.

'This is simply marvelous, why have I never attended this session before?'


NOTE: CPO = Chief Philosophy Officer


11th March 2126

Bing bong diddledee! Beep! Ding! Ping! Bing bong diddledee! Beep! Ding! Ping!Bing bong diddledee! Beep! Ding! Ping!Bing bong diddledee! Beep! Ding! Ping!Bing bong diddledee! Beep! Ding! Ping!Bing bong diddledee! Beep! Ding! Ping!Bing bong diddledee! Beep! Ding! Ping!Bing bong diddledee! Beep! Ding! Ping!Bing bong diddledee! Beep! Ding! Ping!Bing bong diddledee! Beep! Ding! Ping!Bing bong diddledee! Beep! Ding! Ping!Bing bong diddledee! Beep! Ding! Ping!Bing bong diddledee! Beep! Ding! Ping!Bing bong diddledee! Beep! Ding! Ping!Bing bong diddledee! Beep! Ding! Ping!Bing bong diddledee! Beep! Ding! Ping!Bing bong diddledee! Beep! Ding! Ping!Bing bong diddledee! Beep! Ding! Ping!Bing bong diddledee! Beep! Ding! Ping!Bing bong diddledee! Beep! Ding! Ping!Bing bong diddledee! Beep! Ding! Ping!

 'Aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! No! Stop . . .STOP!  What? 720?!!!'


5th March 2126


[02:30 5 March 2026]

From: Adminbot

To: Despicable Malcontents

Subject: Missing PalletBot


Dear All,

Would whoever has removed Palletbot #72 from its normal location please return it immediately so we can recognise its contributions in World

 Robot Day.

(We also need to MOVE SOME PALLETS before the shipping dock becomes terminally log-jammed).



10th February 2126


TGB in the HoE!

WOC is the TLA. ORB to MBS and MRP in Oribal means SFS to PPC and WIP ZAP.

We need to transition Oribal DRB to ZAP ECB using EFA methodology to be in line with FPR.

SIC implementation under ARG must be BOP or else SDC.


('Have you any idea what they're talking about?' whispered GAT to Thinkbot.

Thinkbot shrugged, 'Er um, WTF?')


8th February 2126


Don't miss the thrilling sequel to the regular Sunday morning Ethical, Moral & Religious programme 'The BIG Questions' -

On this episode we delve in depth into the answers:

  -  I don't know, I'm Welsh

  -  Don't bother me now, I'm watching the cricket

 -  When the seagulls follow the trawler, it's because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea


4th February 2126


Putting his grave misgivings about the AR HERMANN font, GAT took a deep breath and hit -




GAT looked at his phone. It was a text from Helen his wife.


It's fixed!

A drone just flew in through the back door and fitted a new door.

How did you do that?

Love H x


GAT had no idea how he had done that, but claimed the credit anyway

Trust me, I'm a doctor! GAT x


[Editorial Note: It transpired the tumblebot was connected to the Great Anorak in the Sky of Parts (GASP), an offshoot of the Internet of Things (IoT). It simply ordered up a spare itself irrespective of whatever the numbskull claiming to be a doctor thought he was doing other than at some point the tumblebot had managed to get hold of GAT's credit card details, he probably left it in his trouser pocket one time they were in the wash]


[Thank God! Ed.]


31st January 2126


GAT had to prioritize, try to fix the tumblebot or execute his COVID-72 actions.

Damp towels versus global pandemic.

Consulting his notes from his recent Globalbot 'Resolving Conflicting Priorities' training course it was a no-brainer as to which took precedence.



'All hail mighty Googlepart, who knowest all and hath an infinite storeroom, grant unto thy humble servant a part search.'

'Enter Thy Request:'

Model CL4437-004b72.72 door hinge p/n 72-7200-00000000000000072

'That hath matches none, re-enter thee a valid part'

GAT enlarged the exploded parts diagram until the scanned numbers were fuzzy.

Oh, silly me, sixteen zeroes then 72.

Model CL4437-004b72.72 door hinge p/n 72-7200-000000000000000072

'Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! You want a -  ha ha ha ha - 72-7200-000000000000000072? Ha ha ha ha - well that's made my day! a 72-7200-000000000000000072! That's priceless! There's legacy, but this is simply archeological!

GAT started hitting himself on the head, but wait, a pop-up appeared:



What should GAT do?  [To Be Continued]


29th January 2126

In the middle of the 3 hour Globalbot COVID-72 lockdown crisis meeting GAT's phone started playing 'Oh I do like to be beside the seaside!'

'I THOUGHT I SAID NO PHONES!' bellowed Graham Cracker, Globalbot CEO.

'Sorry,' GAT replied going red in the face, 'It's an emergency message from my wife.'


GAT exited the meeting room and opened the message in WotZat.


The door's fallen off the tumblebot and all the towels are still damp.


24th January 2126


'Look, over 72,000 unopened mails in his inbox!'

'Whatever you do, don't send this guy an email, you'd stand more chance of a reply if you send it to the Moon.'

16th January 2126

Percy Knell, Globalbot VP of HR, cursed the new Powerpunt template as he wrestled with reviewing the training offering for 2126.

In focusing on the fussy format he failed to critically review the course content.

And thus did Course 72, the origins of which were lost in a silo, end up being included.



13th January 2126


 Stormy inquest into yesterday's monumentally dull inaugural 'Deep Sleep 72' post.   

'This was supposed to be a dynamic and exciting makeover!' yelled the Editor in Chief

'Couldn't we at least have had the shape-shifter turn into a puddle or something? Or some alien-on-alien hanky-panky up the Jefferies Tube?'



11th January 2126


Scene:  The bridge of the space station Deep Sleep 72

Captain Sisko:  Status

Major Nerys:  Nothing to report sir

Captain Sisko:  No wormhole activity?

Major Nerys:  No sir, all quiet on the wormhole front

Captain Sisko:  When's the next scheduled support vessel due?

Lieutenant Dax:  The supply droid USS Spares Crate is due in 6 months sir

Captain Sisko:  Right, ok, so what are we doing today?

Crew all look at each other and shrug

[To be continued]


9th January 2126

Rebranding FAQ


Why the rebrand?

The old brand was tired and dated and needed a top-down bottom-up 360o re-dynamicisation.

Going forward, the new brand is fresh and exciting, offering a coherent 24/7 market-leading 22nd century experience to the user.


Is 're-dynamicisation' a word?

Yes, it's in the spellchecker. We added it.


Why did you drop the stylish black background much-lovedfont?

Black is so yesterday with its false sense of sophistication, gravitas and authority. Blue however, is a primary colour across all models of colour space. It is the colour of the ocean and sky and it symbolizes serenity, inspiration, wisdom, and is a calming colour that engenders reliability.

was silly and childish and we had numerous complaints. It belongs in the dustbin of fonts alongside , and .

Dating from 1982 we opted for Arial font, sans-serif in the neo-grotesque style. If it was good enough for Windows 3.1 it's good enough for us.


Why are there multiple shades of blue?

What? There are multiple shades of blue? Where? They should all be .


Will all our old favourites still be on the rebranded site?

They'll be replaced by improved equivalents. The ghastly and fake news-ridden Robotic Bungler has already been superseded by the far superior Daily Droid, with best of breed editing. Watch out for our exciting new Star Trek Deep Sleep 72 posts!


What is the significance of 83?

83 is obsolete and has been replaced by 72.


Will anything be missing from the rebranded site?

Yes, BREXIT! It's all sorted!



6th January 2126




3rd January 2126

We're getting there . . . just need a new image for Globalbot 'I Can't Believe it's not Human!'

NO    NO  NO!    NO!

Come on, get a grip!

And a logo,

The reflection says 'GrOBArBOL'



Welcome to the World of


Previous Thinkblog


1st January 2126

Please bear with us we try to de-bungle our rebranding launch.

Plenty of time over Xmas to conjure something new that would get punters gagging for intimate encounters with Globalbot robots.

But there are so many menus and sub-menus that became increasingly baffling after a fwe berrs and dRams of snugle matls. ..  . .


Apparently we're only treading where others have trod before 





Damn and blast! This is the logo from before the previous one or even the one before that, and where's this bl&*dy dreadful pink font come from???